Sunday, January 30, 2011
Chapter 4: An Uninterrupted Night FInally
Kyle and Oliver continue to embrace just inside Oliver’s apartment door.
Oliver closes his eyes as he brings Kyle in for a tighter hug, “Is this a dream? Are you really here?”
Kyle smiles as he loses himself in Oliver’s arms. “Yes, Oliver. I’m here. I don’t want to be anywhere else except here with you.”
Oliver keeps a hold of Kyle around the waist but moves his head off of Kyle’s shoulder so he can see into Kyle’s eyes. “Its true isn’t it? You’re standing right in front of me? I have my arms around you at this very second.” Oliver feels as if he can’t breath.
Kyle smiles at Oliver, shaking his head yes. “Its ok, Oliver. Breath. I don’t want ya’ to check out on me as soon as I come to my senses.”
“Sorry. I need to breath. Right. I think I forgot how to for a second. Oh, Kyle. I’m so….”
Oliver picks Kyle up off the floor, Kyle wraps his legs around Oliver and Oliver spins him around several times. The two are laughing and smiling as Oliver continues to spin Kyle around. “…. happy. I still can’t believe this. I have you in my arms again.”
A few minutes later Kyle puts his feet back on the floor, but Oliver does not release his grip on Kyle’s waist.
Kyle looks up at Oliver’s smiling face and places his hands on Oliver’s cheeks, “I love that smile.”
Oliver is slightly embarrassed (his face turns a rosy pink) and is unable to break his grip on Kyle’s waist. He melts inside feeling Kyle’s warm hands on his face.
“I love you, Oliver. Do you hear me? I love you.”
Kyle pulls Oliver’s face towards his, their lips touch, their mouths open, their tongues explore as they get lost in the moment. Kyle places one of his hands behind Oliver’s head (he loves the feeling of his hands running through Oliver’s hair) as he pulls him in for an even deeper kiss. Kyle missed having his Oliver this close to him.
Oliver breaks away from the kiss. “Sorry, Kyle. I really think I should sit down. I feel a little weak in the knees.”
Kyle grabs Oliver by the hand, looks around, and notes the apartment door is still open, closes it and leads Oliver over to the sofa. Kyle kicks off his shoes as Oliver does the same.
Kyle then sits down on the sofa stretching his legs across the sofa. Oliver sits down in between Kyle’s legs, his head leaning against Kyle’s chest. Kyle wraps his arms around Oliver’s neck so that his hands are resting on Oliver’s chest.
Oliver is very content with where he is currently, “Do you remember how we used to sit like this for hours in college just talking about everything and anything?”
Kyle smiles, “I remember. Those were great times. Well maybe with the exception of you being drunk during the majority of those times.”
Oliver cringes as Kyle says these words. “I was so lost back then, Kyle. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was so worried about my parents and losing them. “
Oliver looks up at Kyle. Their eyes meet as Kyle looks down into his face. “I want you to know that our times together meant the world to me. I know you probably have doubted that over the past few years, especially the last few months. I’m so sorry about how I treated you. If I could reverse time and erase my actions I would in a heart beat. I see the pain in your eyes when you look at me. And knowing I caused that breaks my heart. Why could I not be a stronger person for you or for us?”
Kyle simply smiles at Oliver, looks up and draws Oliver closer to him. “Everything happens for a reason, Oliver. We wouldn’t be here together now if we hadn’t gone through what we have the past few years.”
“But we could have been together instead of apart for all these years.”
“Don’t ya’ think that our time together now will be all the more special?”
“Absolutely. It just saddens me that we wasted all that time because of my insecurities. We’ll never get that time back you know.”
Kyle kisses Oliver on the cheek. “I know, but that just gives us more of a reason to fight for us now and to not waste anymore time.”
“So where do we go from here?”
“Good question. I think we need to see where things take us. It’s been years since we were together. We need to learn about each other again. We both have changed some from college. I want to get to know the Oliver Fish of today.”
Oliver always the more naïve and insecure one, “I hope you like the Oliver of today.”
“Well I think we have one thing going in our favor.”
“What’s that?” asks Oliver as he looks up at Kyle again.
“I already love ya’. In my mind that gives us a fighting chance.”
Oliver jumps up and faces Kyle on the sofa. “I’m so sorry.”
Kyle is a bit puzzled. “Sorry about what?”
“I love you too.”
“Why are ya’ sorry about that?”
Oliver shaking his head and getting some crimson color in his cheeks again. “Not that. I’m sorry for not telling you I love you earlier when you said you loved me.”
“You did say it.”
“No I didn’t. I would remember. Why do I always get tongue tied around you? I’m not good at this couple thing.”
“You didn’t have to say it, Oliver. Your eyes do more talking than your words do on any given day.”
“So, I’m that obvious?”
“Not obvious. Your eyes just display your emotions in a very sincere and honest way. And as far as you not being good at the couple thing I just think ya’ need a little practice.”
“What if I screw it up? You could end up hating me forever.” There is a little panic in Oliver’s voice.
Kyle grabs and squeezes Oliver’s hand, “If there is one thing the last few months have taught me its that I could never hate you. Yes, I can get really mad and irritated with ya’, but hate. Never!”
Oliver is not convinced, “You say that now. But you know me. I’m confidant in my work, but not so much with everything else. I’m bound to make mistakes. Its just part of my nature.”
“Oliver, calm down. We’ll work through any mistakes together. I’m not goin’ to let ya’ git rid of me so easily this time. Do ya’ understand me?”
Oliver lets a slight smile form on his face. “Wow, I’m really a nervous and neurotic person sometimes. You sure you can handle that?”
“I can handle almost anything that ya’ throw at me, but please, please don’t push me away again like ya’ did in college. I wanted to be there to help you with what you were goin’ through, but when your Mom caught us that day, ya’ just…..”
“I know. I was a coward and it was not fair to you. I ran and never looked back. I was so conflicted. I can’t imagine the hurt I caused….”
“Shhhh. I just need ya’ to promise me that you’ll talk to me. Lean on me as much as ya’ need to. Please just don’t run again. I can’t go through that again.”
“I promise. I want to share everything with you, Kyle. I want to be there for you when you need me also.”
The two share a kiss.
As the two break away Oliver gets a more serious look on his face. “What about Nick?”
Kyle face shows a bit of stress, “I still need to talk to Nick about all this. I care about him, Oliver. It was never my intention to hurt him.”
“Will you promise to not get mad if I ask you something?” asks Oliver kind of sheepishly.
“No guarantees, but shoot.”
“Why did you agree to marry Nick if you still love me?”
“I wanted to protect myself from bein’ hurt by you again. Nick is a great guy with some awesome qualities. I thought I could love him in time, but I was foolin’ myself. You’re in my blood and deep, deep in my heart, Oliver Fish. There’s no escapin’ you.”
Oliver smiles. “So now you tell Nick about us and we move forward?”
“That’s the plan, Officer.”
Oliver stands and smiles, “I like that plan, Dr. Lewis!”
Kyle stands and grabs Oliver around the waist, “I’m not a doctor yet.”
Oliver smiles, kisses Kyle on the neck and whispers into his ear. “ I wouldn’t mind playing doctor right now? What do you say?”
“Oliver, I want to more than ya’ know, but I can’t right now. I need to end things with Nick. I need to have a clear conscious. When we’re together that way again I need to just be with you. Maybe it’s a bit old fashioned, but I need to be fair with everyone involved.”
Oliver is disappointed, but understands. “No problem. Can you do me a favor, though?”
“I don’t want this to end. Can you stay the night?”
Kyle starts to back away. “Oliver….”
Oliver holds up his hands. “Stop. Hear me out!”
Kyle looks into his eyes.
“I just want to feel you next to me tonight. Just to sleep. I want to wake up with you tomorrow and see you there so I know this is not a dream. Just sleep, that’s all I’m asking.”
Kyle can’t say no and lets Oliver grab his hand. Oliver leads Kyle into his bedroom.
Oliver begins to unbutton his shirt. Kyle grabs the shirt and starts unbuttoning it for him. Kyle unbuttons the shirt and pulls it off of Oliver’s arms behind his back. He runs his hand through Oliver’s just perfect amount of chest hair. “I’ve missed you so much, Oliver.”
Oliver smiles. He grabs Kyle’s sweater and pulls it off over his head. Oliver brings Kyle into an embrace. Feeling Kyle’s hot naked chest against his own drives him wild. He starts to unfasten Kyle’s belt.
“Oliver, what’re ya’ doing?”
“Helping you out of your jeans!”
“Oliver, we can’t.”
“I know, Kyle. I just didn’t think you wanted to sleep in your jeans.”
Kyle and Oliver smile at each other. Oliver unfastens Kyle’s belt. Kyle returns the favor. In unison they remove their jeans. They climb into bed.
Kyle wraps his leg over Oliver’s leg, laying his head on his chest.
“Thank you, Kyle”
“For giving me this chance.”
“I couldn’t lie to myself anymore, Oliver.”
“I love you, Kyle. With all my heart.”
“And I love you. Good night.”
The two lay in bed together, their bodies touching. Oliver’s mind is racing. He can’t believe Kyle is here with him. Kyle feels at peace being in the arms of the man he has always loved. Everything is perfect as the two gradually fall into a deep sleep.
The next morning Oliver is awake, but scared to open his eyes. Was last night all a dream? Was the universe playing an evil trick on him? Was Kyle in the bed next to him? It seemed so real, but why could he not feel Kyle next to him now? He had to open his eyes, but the prospect of not seeing Kyle beside him frightened him more than words could say. He lays there for a good five minutes not moving and holding his breathe more than actually breathing. Then Oliver slowly leans to the right and opens his eyes one at a time. He sees Kyle sleeping on his back and snoring ever so lightly. Oliver thinks to himself how nice it feels to wake up next to Kyle and not be ashamed and if he was honest with himself not being drunk. This sober experience is way better than any of those past drunken experiences.
Oliver turns over on his side and watches Kyle sleep. This is a new experience for him. In the past, in college, he would just leave in the morning, often leaving before Kyle would even wake up, fighting a horrid hangover. But not this time! He is calm, comfortable and glad to have the most beautiful man he knows in the bed next to him. He props himself up with his right arm resting his head on his hand. He continues to watch Kyle sleep as tears start to form in his eyes. Before long tears are streaming down Oliver’s face.
Kyle wakes up and looks up at Oliver noticing the tears. “Hey you. What’s wrong?” asks Kyle as he grabs Oliver’s left hand.
“Sorry to wake you. Nothing is wrong.”
“You’re cryin’, Oliver.”
“I just can’t believe you’re here. I was scared to open my eyes. I thought it had to all be a dream. But you’re here. Here with me.”
Kyle sits up. Oliver follows suit. The two cross legs and sit facing each other on the bed. Kyle grabs Oliver around the neck and kisses Oliver’s tears away from each cheek. “I’m here, Oliver.”
“I don’t deserve this, Kyle. I’ve never felt so relaxed, comfortable and happy. Waking up next to you this morning is surreal. I don’t want this feeling to go away. I don’t want you to ever go away.”
“I’m not goin’ away, Oliver. I love ya’ man! We’re goin’ to make this work.”
“I love you, too!”